Mother Earth

We live here and now. Our connection with the earth need to be deep. We need to embrace power of nature without fear. Earth is intelligent being, intelligent consciousness, that manifests itself in the strong powerful way. The core, the center is in balance. It is bubbling but not exploding. It is the strongest because the deepest and still in control of itself, control by the law of love, by the law of life, by the law of One. There is no rage in the source, there are forces that creates, there are so powerful sources that once we touch them we bow down and show them respect and thankfulness, we feel gratitude and peace. Then we arrive home, we start to feel where we are actually living and how blessed we are to experience it. That is the life, that is a dance, that is fantastic!!!!!!

..release release release..

..and start seeing..

..

My friend had a birthday today. She is one year old and party was excellent. We laughed a lot, a bit cry, like old good friends, you know.

I am in the mood of one year old. You know, just eat some goodies, new taste, laugh a bit, cry a bit if no one want to hug me.

I sit in my caravan again. Bit messy today. I have no power to move those things again in the order. Circle is circling again in the sky.

I don't own anything and I own nothing.

Only my heart and love that flows there. It is beautiful feeling. Very pure. Love to all beings, love to all spirits, if I would die in this moment, then what? What it would change? What it would change?

Sometimes you can just sit in your caravan and give a time to Universe to make its job. You can just sit or you can go outside and dance with trees, you can go and talk to the creek, you can go and embrace the mountain, you can run just run into the space and laugh and feel that you are free.

And even if you are far away then you are still just by my side. You are far and so close. Better if we don't speak too much. Just look at the same fjord. Just look into our hearts and feel the joy of reunion, exchange the flow of heartbeats, look into the eyes and see the landscape, infinite landscape of our possibilities, of our freedom while being together, to follow the path of the forest, traces of ancestors, roots of truth.

There is nothing more I would like to see you now but at the same time I see you now, you are just here, I can feel you so strong, you are here by me, but still I am alone. I am here in this caravan that I have never invited you to, in my little cave that when the time comes I will move into the world. I am here. I am here. I am here. And I am with you. And I missed you so much all those years when we were separated. But the old man told us in the dream that it is not me that you are waiting for but you can learn a lot. Sometimes wisdom is stronger than pain we chose. Sometimes we need to do the things that are supposed to be done. Either we enter the last cycle of brutal Kali or we reborn again in the stars, who knows. As far as we sit still in our caravans, where the life expands.

I want to dance, I want to dance so much that actually I am gonna do it. I will dance forever in my mind, my thoughts twisting and swirling, around the beauty of this.... of this moments of infinite love that flows in the rivers of our hearts.

I don't want to be a mad man, I just want to be myself. 

OJBS

Who ones me? Who ones you? Who ones your body? Who ones your mind? Who are you? Are you your body or your mind? Are you both or you are just body filled with soul? Are you soul? Are you body and soul? What is soul? What is body? What does it contain? What does it represent? What represent the soul? What represent mind? Who are you? Who am I?


After all the questions will dissolve then you will know. There just have to be no question to get the answer. Once you start asking questions you go on and go on, and for all your life you will seek questions not answers. And answers are there when the question is not asked. I think already this said Osho, and before him most likely Jesus, and before him most likely Buddha, and before him most likely Socrates, and before him many thousand of wise man. And many man will say the same after our ashes will be one with earth. Life is continues search for answers, only don't ask questions. 

...

There are different sorts of madness that try to get into our minds and show us the way. There are different sorts of people who try this madness provoke in us or by their deeds they try to achieve. There are different sort of weapons we can defeat all of them. One is love, another compassion. If we know how to combine them together we become the warriors of light, of love, of so tempting nirvana and death. There are different ways of learning. There are different sorts of teachers. We go around and around in the circle of existence, we are so stupid, we just rumble down the rocks of pain on each other and think that this is the way. And Jesus already said"I am the way" and he was not the one who was throwing stones on the woman that betrayed his man. He said "If anyone of you is without the sin let him throw stone on this woman". Buddha had similar saying. For him all this was vast and emptiness, and if you look at it from a distance it's really is. What remains is the perfect emptiness fulfilled with love. But not the love you know. With the love that only he knows who gets there. There are many ways of saying sorry and many ways of forgiving. There are words that cannot be utered and the one that we want to hear with pleasure. I have only one word and this word is love. In this world what can you be sure of? Maybe nothing? Maybe not even that you will die one day. You are sure you were born but maybe it is also only illusion, maybe you have never been here, maybe you just dream. Maybe I am dreaming you and you are dreaming me. Maybe all this is just a snapshot of something that we cannot touch, we cannot embrace and we cannot even think about. Maybe all this is just a one big joke that somehow we were put into. Where is a short line between knowing and not knowing. Where is the line of being sure and always doubting. Is it because of me? Or because of someone's else fault made many years ago. Inside me I see the sward, the same that L. showed me yesterday. I feel gratitude to him. He is a nice person and so much of love. This sward is inside me. It got there with your words that were feeling me up with warmth of your words. There is also a snake that we both saw at that day in your room. I didnt tell you that I saw it because I didnt want to scare you, but snake was there, and now he is also inside me, eating me, digesting my heart, my stomach, my intestine, he tries to get to my solar plexus but there is waiting for him sward. I feel that the sward is getting stronger, is shining, sward has its own power and I know I will use it when the time is right. I dont know who send this snake, I dont know why he came there. But the sward and the snake they are connected, like wind and fire, like rain and life. There is something about this sward. Whose is it? Why it's there?
All this just another illusion, another crossroad, another coincidence that tries to show you the way. The way is here and now. The way is love. The way is forgiveness. The way is reunion.
And there is choice. Maybe the sward or the snake is the choice. Choice is the strongest of ways and most delusive. If there is really a choice? Is it written down? and only when we play the right accord of the life then the life becomes magic? Then all is in the right place, we feel warm and safe, we feel loved and accepted, we feel that we are we and not them. You might even weight it. Simply in your hands what you want to choose. You can put out your two hands up with your elbows not touching knees. You can weight them, one will be heavier then the other? But what does it mean it is heavier? is it better or more difficult, does it have more value or more pain. more love or more suffering, more easiness or more responsibility. There are ways, many ways and many roads we can cross, as long as at the end of the road we can look to the mirror and say, Yes thank you for the life, I made few mistakes but still I tried to do the best. Please forgive me my sins and I forgive my sinners. Thank you life that you have been offered to me. I am leaving now my perception but you are staying here, you always will be, you are life and for you death does not exist, you are the only one over the death, you are perpetuum mobile, you are infinity. You life not death.
And what is there in this life to stick to, to get full of it? Love.

Great return :) in a Green Fox Style

My name is Fox, Green Fox and even when the sky will fall we will stay together, me and you. Feeling the heartbeat of the earth and pain in my heart I move on towards eternal light of understandment, even if I never reach the road is enough beautiful to enjoy it.

I have a new house. First it looked like it will fall apart in a second but after few good days of work I got a new floor, new roof, new bad, new kitchen corner and huge wardrobe. I live on ten square meter floating next to the river and few magpies stealing all the time my garbage from outside. Life is funny here, a little bit surprising but still in the middle of Northern Lights action. My small house is a a bedroom, kitchen, living room, yoga hall, temple, business headquarters, storage hangar and my solitude and silence cave. It is all at the same time and I really love it. After I have installed two massive heaters it is plus twenty degrees inside even though outside is under minus ten. Isolation is six centimeters so not so bad after all.

And even if we were born to die it is still good to live :)

All this race towards a glory is almost finished. From last cards reading I got to know what I knew is true, that I need to remain here, in this place that so many times I betray with my wishful thinking of the streets of India and mountains of Africa. To be like a pope, reading from a book, while all the world is settle down just right, and woman's star is shining high, and good news are coming up, with voices that show the path, and the forces that stay calm, ready to explode or just remain, like an atom of fictional strength.

African songs are sounding loud in the corridors of our house, where sometimes we also pray to god and then the spirits are coming upon us and the music is flowing down like the rivers of life towards and from our hearts, and all is just fine and laugh is heard in the corners of our souls.

With the first signs of springs there is gonna be a change, all people are flying away and new birds are coming to the nest.

Once there was a marriage, a huge celebration of love and light. Once there was a man who thought that all he writes can become a truth. Once there will be a marriage where all will be fine and birds will be chirping loud.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tdNWjM8zNI&feature=related

All is spinning around, even nature is not staying calm and me like a tree dreaming about having wings and fly just above into the wild.

It seems that all is in accelarated movement, people are coming and leaving, staying so short or too long to become a moments of your memory. Memory that plays a game with you showing you things that you dont want to see or the ones that you dont know why actually seeing them at all.

Paths and roads we try to take and the one marked for us. Emotions that flatter with the world and sounds. Where to go if one place to stay is just under your feet and you are standing here. Maybe all the puzzles got into the place where once and for all the world can sing a song. Just do what you want and look through deep brown eyes into the world that keeps away wars and the flow of blood.

Two weeks ago I had a date with Norwegian Sol, first I thought it was a soul, a norwegian soul. I was too much attached to this vision of soul that I totally missed a sol, a norwegian sol that was shining to my eyes. Then I saw it as for the first time even though it was always standing there and shining through the sky a beautiful norwegian sun, and then i hit the road, old track that the dogs know is the road to home, where people laugh and argue but still the end is fine. I hit the road that brought me back to the souls of norwegian sol, to the places and people I know and where I feel like at home. And people coming, going, passing by, in too much hurry to stop and cry, as me when I hit the road and old this track, back home. And I felt I could fly and just move into the the sky, while dancing with the sun just becoming one.


Sometimes I feel I try to find, a home, a wife, a cattle and a pond, to look through the windows of my house and just feel that I don't have to go on. Is it a dream that comes to me or I paint a dream of all. Just want to be by your side and laugh and love and cry.

While walking by the fjord I see the rocks that still remain in their divine mind. So strong and tough, while ocean cries out the songs that I try to catch in words.

So there is a time to open your eyes and see where you are, and there is a time to open your heart and say thank you to the sky, and there is a time when I will fly to the waves of all kinds, where you will be there waiting by my side looking into the sun.

.:Orgasm:.

Now I need to write something. Now I need to kiss someone, now I need to touch you, now I need to go to toilet, now I need to go for a walk, now I need to go to sleep, now I would like to stop time and look through the courtins of oblivion, and see people that the same as I stay and look. Or just stay and see, or just see and feel, or just are.


Now I work in a para militarize scratch movie cartoon with old generals from the second World War, that unfortunately were reborn in this time where wars have not such a meaning as they did before and now only a game in generals and who becomes one is the only option left behind. In reality of multitude choices our voices are disappearing somewhere in between our thoughts. To take life too seriously is the biggest crime of all, but taking it all the way into the realm of imagination that knows no borders of perceptions brings me closer to the place with white walls and delicious meals, with Russian language that sounds in the mornings of rising days, in the place where people become your friends in moments of their own imaginative visions, in realms that not all know how to open doors to. ANd where is Andrey, and where is Anna from RIga, and where all this beauty of forest, and where a woman I love so much, and where this egoless life that I experienced for few days, and where all this amazement of light and life, and fear, where the emotions that hit you with its highest intensity.

Only glimpses, small recollections and reflections of mind that knows that to be funny and happy means to be mad and crazy with the tiny line you cannot cross.

Faces passing by, small boys riding their bikes, familiar silhouette that moves forward towards darkness, my feet that try to hold me down to the ground, my mind that try to take me far away, but where, into which realm, is there a better place then here, is there a light that explodes in the last moment of your life or only demons waiting for your souls. Life as it goes it goes, sometimes I only stand still looking at it all and a voice is screaming inside my head that it is enough, voice of despair, powerful force of rage that tries to get out on the surface to explode into thousands blizzards on the winter sky.


Maybe solution is in theater, but what to do that sometimes all this life is a better screenplay when you look at it through your pink glasses than any other theater could be. And for what? To express what? and for what? For yourself but for what? TO become what? More normal, then it becomes boring, more calm,but calmness is searching for chaos, being a tight rope walker all your life, maybe if there is no choice, to know all too boring, to know too little scary, to know exactly enough not possible. Always you know too little or too much, All the conversations that brings you so much joy at the moment of encounter, suddenly they echo in your mind when you would like to feel silence, words and sentences that lose their meaning, situations without any racional or spiritual level explanations. People who disappear from your life faster then they appeared, only those moments that hang somewhere over our heads, as alive as moments of its own. All like in a big pot of bigBang! emotional excitement


Become like a rock or like a wave? At the same time I want to die and I love life more than anything else in the World, maybe except World itself and all that surrounds it. Simplicity of nature that our minds still try to define by numbers and other long sequences of equations. Complexity of the smallest thing, beauty of all, beauty that try to expand and explode as my thoughts that sometimes has no place to go. All possible to transform to any form of happiness you want, all carries death in itself and destruction. And yes, thank you but please don't change so fast.

Orgasm.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5o3sugZtDkA&feature=related

Between barking and silence

Barking recognized sometimes as a noise, most likely is a noise. Silence on the other hand is complete opposite of noise and barking. For some people silence also can be a noise but this case we will distinguish from my vision of something that exists between barking and silence, or if some people would like to say between noise and silence. And for me since few weeks it is the best way to experience silence just after a loud barking noise that rips my ears into peaces. That small little thing between noise and silence is attention and highly concentrated minds of barking factor, in this case over two hundred dogs. If you can manage to make them all silent for few seconds it means that you have enormous power of attention over those animals. They get quiet, five hundred eyes stared at you what you will do next, they examine your aura, they smell your anger, and they smell if you can let go, if not they will start to bark again, if you can let go, it means you are a buddy and then they will stay calm for few more seconds just to encode it in their minds, Jacek is a nice buddy, strong and demanding but after all he loves us. When this sentence will hit the neurons to remember this such important information attention is over, silence is broke and first bark heard somewhere far in the corner of a dog yard. A circle of barking and silence is the best way to explain to someone a concept of reincarnation, rebirth, solitude, multitude, almost all possible to be explained can be explained on this simple example of constant continuous cycle of barking, silence and something in between for what mystics from east and scientists of west were searching for thousands of years. All is here and now, between those two that become one...

It is a perfect morning. Sun is just behind there, one small mountain. Polish poem sang by Robert Kasprzycki gives another level of universe of words, understanding love and happiness.

Even though I live in a super hurry suddenly all is stopped and I can get a long morning with Yoga, staring into fjord, watching rays of sun sliding through different slopes and peaks. Loki is plays with bone, I drink coffee and roll a cigarette. I don't have to go anywhere, i don't have to search, i am just here and I am just me, and small invisible atom of happiness somewhere in my body has a chain reaction and immensely all my body is happiness and all my body disappears and I am just am.

Wowowow,,,, my own language, listening to songs in my own language gives me aftertaste of delicateness in my mind :) some people call it euphoria!!


There is not so many words how to describe the Great Return Of SUn and feelings that follow. Yeah, maybe the Great Return Of Sun is enough.